On Monday, I had a family emergency so I couldn't go to the office. Then on Tuesday, MTN decided to run mad - stating they can do and undo and my unproductivity continued. Wednesday, I was still begging MTN to pity me and not allow my employers to sack me when this running back and forth to the restroom began.

My body was weak - I could barely move. I lay on my bed, trying to escape the pain in my lower belly and the nausea rising in my throat.

Oh my God - this dreaded illness has returned after many years. There are regular illnesses, and then there are those that make you want to confess all your sins to God. I was praying for this to be just a regular one.

Just to prepare sha, I called my friend multiple times, but he didn't pick. I called my cousin - she was teasing me and making fun of me ha ha ha. I wasn't in the mood. She sha said I should drink garri without sugar to solidify my tummy. It didn't solidify anything - it was still doing puru puru and I was still racing to the restroom.

Eventually, I went to the clinic - met with this cute doctor who ran some tests, and was diagnosed with food poisoning.

AHA! The chicken I was given last year had apparently spoiled, and I had eagerly eaten it with rice on Wednesday for breakfast.

Because of that chicken, I ended up becoming best friends with the toilet and got admitted to the hospital.

Saying happy val from the hospital bed.

Calls and chats becoming fewer and far between.

I'll be driving or working or just doing general adulting when thoughts of you pop into my head.

I promise myself I'll drop you a message and check in once I'm done with my tasks. But then life gets too busy again.

Even though we don't talk regularly, I still cherish those memories. Like when we were invited to that boy's house and got served semo with efo made with tomato paste and ground pepper. Or that time at another guy's place where only God knows what he served us, claiming it was camel meat.

I remember your weird dances and how you were the craziest one in our friend group. Still makes me laugh out loud thinking about how you saved your boyfriend's name as "LOML". I'm glad you found the real one now.

You always took care of us with your different delicacies. You were the only multi-talented one in our midst - cooking, baking, makeup artistry, and fashion design.

We didn't get much one-on-one time together, but I love your maturity and how you just seem to know so much about everything.

Two conservative ladies hitting the club - that was definitely a no-no. We'd cave after the guys’ pestering only to end up sitting there, watching others enjoy the loud music and grinding, wishing we were home in bed.

I love that we shared the same aspirations and goals, and I'm glad we're already ticking them off our lists.

My friends are already getting married, landing great jobs, some have japa'd and are touring the world. Here I am, wallowing in self-pity - staggering through the path in life that I chose.

It feels like I disappeared from this world for over 4 years, and when I got back, everything had changed.

Failed at friendships. Failed at love. Where did it all go wrong?

Sure, I need to be grateful for what I have - not everything is as dark as it seems. But everyone else's life just looks better than mine, and I can't help wanting that for myself.

*Hi peeps, just landed a new job...*

*The love of my life and I thank you all for celebrating our wedding...*

*Just graduated from the University of Wales...*

*yada yada yada*

I tell myself - I'm an introvert, not much of a talker. I say I'm busy, don't have time for friendships. So why am I complaining now?

Maybe it's just loneliness.

Where do I go from here? Are these friendships lost forever?

It's 9:20pm, the night's a bit chilly. Everything's quiet except for the fan spinning softly. Scrolling through my feed, seeing another post about success and achievements even in January, and I can't help but wonder - where are yours, Haleemah?

Anyways, enough self-pity and ramblings. Time to get back to work.